By Princess Tanimola
(Guest Blogger)
Bebedi means feminine waist beads in Yoruba. Although we call them waist beads, they can also be called 'hip beads' because some fall on the hips. Some African baby girls wear Bebebi and may continue to wear them into womanhood. Of course they have to change the length of their Bebedi as they grow up. Some of them may wear Bebedi 24/7 under their clothes.
Most African men think that Bebedi are very sexy and enhance lovemaking. Some men shamelessly ask women if they wear Bebedi. A Bebedi is easy to make. All you need to do is to string beads to the size of your hips, but make sure that it is not too tight. Of course, you need beads and thick strings. Alternatively, you could buy ready made Bebedi.
'Bebedi Alhaja' by Sexy Steel ft Vector is a funny Yoruba love song. The sound of percussion instruments reminded me of a late platonic friend because we coincidentally met at the same venue once a year, and danced to the rhythms of a live band a long time ago. Our dates to the venue would sulk and frown once a year too.
We would later tender unprofound apologies after a long chat since we only met once a year. On one of such occasions, I joking told my friend not to attend the clinic of a specific doctor (my date) in order not to receive the wrong injection at payback time. The doctor said my friend was his client anyway and we all laughed. Joke: Dating a physician in those days was a ‘nightmare’ because you more or less dated the patients too. He had to see all his patients (on admission) before going on a date as the owner of the clinic, and while he is on a date his mind is on his patients.
My friend and I actually became friends after I interviewed him. It was one of two dreadful interviews that I ever conducted because a lady waved a beer bottle over heads. She mistook me for a rival. I refused to stop the interview and kept my eyes on the bottle at the same time. Her threatening and possessive behaviour was not part of the interview. It is almost impossible to write everything that happens in a newspaper interview. I was angry but managed to curtail my anger. She went away and we took the back exit for safety reasons.
I did not say anything to him but I wondered why he had to date a girl like her. The look in my eyes made him feel uncomfortable. Some weeks later, he came to apologize. He actually left a message with a colleague because I was not in the office. The next time we met was in front of a live band and we had a wonderful time because he had just survived a ghastly car crash without a scratch. I noticed that he had a new girlfriend. She was much prettier and civilized than the former one. He became very popular and I became his confidante.
At the 2012 Nigerian Music Video Awards, 'Bebedi Alhaja' by Sexy Steel ft Vector won three awards; Video of the Year, Best Indigenous Concept and Best Director. The chorus ‘Bebedi Alhaja nla / Lo n ja e laya’ meaning ‘Big Alhaja’s waist bead scares you’ in Yoruba. The video shows what modern male and female Nigerians wore in the 70s e.g., afro wigs, platform shoes and big glasses. I was a kid in the 70s.
Recently, someone asked me to define Alaroka. Yoruba Mythology is interesting. It must be emphasized that there are different definitions of Alaroka, Agborodun and Elenini. I discovered that these human behaviour characteristics had some things in common. I could not easily define Alaroka without thinking of Agborodun and Elenini. Some human beings fall into one of the three characters. Understanding the characters could help you to know why some people behave the way they do and may never change.
Some people are a combination of two of these characters etc. Personally, I think the characters are three dangerous friends due to years of observing people via native intelligence. If you are not an Alaroka, Agborodun or Elenini, you should thank God because you are likely to be a really nice person. The characters are that of evil minded people.
Alaroka is a foremost gossiper. Aroka means gossip in Yoruba. Alaroka is also a very jealous person, high class character assassin, accomplice aka ‘Agb’ode gba’, stalker, manipulative person and malicious petitioner.
Agborodun is usually a shallow minded person who believes all Alaroka says. Agborodun is not objective or helpful like the Yoruba TV series ‘Agborodun’, instead Agborodun could become a stalker, bully or killer because he or she is ready to revenge on behalf of Alaroka at anytime. That is why the victim should be extremely careful.
Elenini is a demonic sadist and extremely envious person who do not want his or her victims to excel in life. Elenini is a progress blocker 24/7. He/she can spend days looking for ways to stop the progress of other people and laugh in secrecy. Like Alaroka, Elenini is also a false petitioner. Elenini can make several calls to various authorities per month in order to tell fibs on innocent people. Elenini is a very pretentious person who loves associating with people in order to monitor their progress. Alaroka and Agborodun may have Elenini tendencies.
Which character is the worst? Hard to guess? Although Elenini is a progress destroyer of the highest order, can you believe that Elenini is not the worst character out of them all? Yet Elenini can frustrate people until they commit suicide. That is if people allow Elenini to finish them off. According to Yoruba Mythology, the worst character is Alaroka because there is no cure or solution to the types of gossip and negative rumour that Alaroka pedals.
Yoruba native doctors see Alaroka as a psychological personality disorder that can never be cured until Alaroka dies. A witch is better than Alaroka because witch doctors can appease a witch unlike Alaroka since Alaroka has damaged the reputation of the victim beyond repair. Neither can witch doctors locate hundreds of Agborodun people fighting the victim in the spiritual realm on behalf of Alaroka.
Metaphysically, these characters have negative aura that could tamper with your lucky stars. The victim is normally stereotyped and tormented. The tormentors may look for lame excuses in order to gain support from specific authorities and Alaroka could be protected from prosecution even if crime is committed. Alaroka runs a stalking agency of hundreds of people who will monitor the victim on daily basis especially when a syndicate wants to burgle a property. Whenever Alaroka tries to be nice to a victim, it could mean that Alaroka is planning havoc. The victim should always be on guard and keep away from Alaroka.
In the Yoruba Movie 'Omotara Johnson', actress Bukky Wright cut her wrist on purpose so that her friend could pity her. That was how she managed to sneak out of her hospital bed at night in order to commit murder. She killed her friend and married her friend’s lover in a jiffy.
In the film 'This Is England', Milky (actor Andrew Shim) was lured to where he was battered to death by Combo. He allowed his love for drugs and money to elude reality. Maybe he did not know that he was dealing with a dangerous criminal that was jealous of him. If he had kept away from his killer, he may not have died the way he did.
Sometimes we are in the midst of Alaroka, Agborodun or Elenini. It is not easy for everyone to identify them on the spot because some of us are them. Which is the least dangerous of the three characters? It is obvious that it cannot be Alaroka. Ha! Ha! Ha! Is it not like asking which is slow poison?
