By Danielle Lobito
Chanel: Open-toed Goatskin Light Bulb Shoes
Nigeria is definitely among the most laughable countries in the world. Anybody can become a minister or diplomat; as long as you are a graduate with connections aka long legs. Even if you fail to recite the national anthem in front of a committee of ‘sinators’, you are likely to be cleared of any wrong doing at the ministerial or ambassadorial screening, like that of Nigeria's Ambassador to Portugal Ijeoma Bristol, wife of Nigerian Ambassador to France. The private excuse could be that you were not born or bred in Nigeria. It does not matter if other members of your family are already Ambassadors since your gatekeeper can dream of lobbying to ‘become’ a commissioner for special duties in his state of origin.
As if all the mockery in President Goodluck Jonathan’s cabinet were not enough, the Minister of Power Light Bulbs and Darkness (LBD), Professor Barth Nnaji prefers to bribe people with light bulbs rather than tender his resignation as a failed minister, of a failed ministry, in a failed state. Nnaji might as well give a pair of Chanel's (Open-toed Goatskin) light bulb shoes to every female Nigerian citizen that qualifies for the brand's shoe sizes and range at a staggering cost of $2,200 per pair. Students would be able to use it to read their books when electricity is not available than fail exams. As far as we are concerned, a light bulb is a light bulb in whatever fashion.
What kind of light bulbs is the LBD Minister plotting to give out? He mentioned energy saving light bulbs but refused to state how many would be given away. What is more important, constant electricity or energy saving light bulbs in darkness? Is he planning to copy the European Union ban on outdated light bulbs by introducing energy saving light bulbs in Nigeria? He should tell Nigerians how much he will spend on buying them light bulbs. We hope it wouldn't be a disappearing act, where a section of the capital disappears and reappears in foreign bank accounts.
When Jonathan and his wicked fuel crew unleashed terror on the masses by inflating the cost of petrol, he said he would ‘cushion the effect’ with luxury buses. The LBD minister is doing the same thing with light bulbs after tariff increment. He has no conscience and assumes that the masses are feeble minded people without options and social benefits. Helpless Nigerians are fed up of living in darkness or adapting to the Stone Age era. Renewable energy is what Nigerians need. The hot climate is the advantage that the Nigerian government has failed to exploit. Solar and wind energy can be used as alternative, effective and cheaper form of power supply.
We were gobsmacked when a Nigerian government adviser disclosed on BEN TV (Sky Channel 184) that some wind turbines were languishing away in Nigeria’s former capital ports because the state government that bought them did not know how and where to install them. Why were some jobless electricians and engineers not trained to install solar panels and turbines before the arrival of the wind turbines? If the governor and commissioners do not know where to install the turbines, some Nigerians in the Diaspora are ready to help. Nevertheless, officials should not install turbines in their hometowns by using long legs.
Nnaji’s free bulbs
Barth Nnaji’s conscience
The new electricity tariff
THE AMBASSADOR WHO FAILED ANTHEM TEST
The Nigerian Foreign Service Club: News from Nigerian Missions
