Fuel Subsidy Removal ‘Bride’

By Matthew Mahmood

Photo: Courtesy Facebook

10 things about me…

(1)Once I had no shoes but today I can afford to buy more shoes than the former 1st Lady of the Philippines Imelda Marcos.
(2) Naija is under political bondage. Removal of fuel subsidy was just to make enough money for the 'National' Executive Council members, so that we don’t suffer after 2015.
(3) I’m Naija’s last President.
(4) Wasting pubic funds is my No 1 hobby; that's why I can't disclose my assets publicly but secretly.
(5) I am controlled by international institutions on economic issues because I’m a greedy dullard.
(6) I’m a stooge for a cabal of retired dictators on mountain tops and posh farms.
(7) I am a very pretentious and deceitful leader.
(8) My government is not interested in basic amenities like water, electricity, affordable housing or food for the poor. I am here to make as much money as I can make for myself, Lady P and the kids. Pray to 'jam' luck like me!
(9) There are 9 planes in the presidential fleet that I enjoy while US President Obama 'has' two presidential jets.
(10) We need 24-hour Buffet in the Presidential Villa, that’s why I requested for N1 billion for food plus N300 million for plates and cutlery in the 2012 budget. OK!