Ladies and Gentlemen, the imaginary plan of a President aka ‘I had No shoes’ was to donate one million into the bank account of every indigenous person in the country; in order to mark the independence anniversary but we are unhappy to announce that it can never happen because the National Assembly was against the amount aka 'national cake'.
Why? 150 million would have been the compensation for years of no social benefits, lack of constant electricity, water, bad roads and unequipped hospitals but embezzlement by different regimes for 51 years. 150 million would have been the share for the masses out of billions of looted oil revenue for donkey's years.
About 90% of the lawmakers would not allow the payment of such compensation unless they get a higher share, which would be unfair. In fact, they have threatened to plan the impeachment of the president. The president has decided to mind his own business every since. The First Lady was overheard saying, ‘Wetin concern you? The enjoyment wey I dey chop for here never tire me o. You better tell them it was a mirage. May impeachment not befall you?’ He screamed, ‘Amen!’
—Culled from Aso Rocket News
