Trouble Sleep, ‘Mr President’ Wake Am

When Trouble sleep,
Yanga go wake am,
Waking him dey find
*[CHORUS] PALAVER, HE DEY FIND
Palaver**, he go get-e o **(trouble)
*[CHORUS] PALAVER, HE GO GET
Palaver
—Fela Anikulapo Kuti

President Goodluck Jonathan

By Danielle Lobito

Mr X: Mr President has really changed.

Mr Y: You meant Dr President.

Mr X: Former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was a PhD graduate of History before he became PM and ‘nobody’ called him Dr Brown. He is also a former lecturer and broadcast journalist.

Mr Y: Probably because he was not in academic capacity. That’s the norm over there not here.

Mr X: Mr President is a zoologist with a PhD in Zoology. Nigeria is not a zoo. To call him Dr President means you have accepted your fate in the zoo.

Mr Y: Jokes apart! The president no longer smiles for long nowadays. He looks worried. Something is wrong somewhere.

Mr X: The British PM came through Lagos instead of Abuja. Of course the president feels uncomfortable with the terrorists and his plans to submit a single term bill to the National Assembly; which would impose a single six year tenure for presidents and governors instead of a single or double four year term. The military transferred the capital from Lagos to Abuja. Why can't the civilians revert it back to Lagos? Are we not under a civilian regime?

Mr Y: That wouldn't be easy but a Lagos Minister should be appointed in 2015 since Abuja has one. We need to plan ahead of time. By 2015, Lagos is likely to take over Cairo as Africa's 'most populous' City. All foreign presidents should enter Nigeria through Lagos from now on. That would give the president something to think about since he does not know where to begin as president or solve the core problems of the country.

Mr X: Oh! They will say Abuja is not a state… So, why should it be the capital? Lagos is big enough for a governor and minister. Foreign leaders are not stupid. They know what is going on and would prefer to be diplomatic for sometime. The world would want to see how the imposition by constitutional amendment would fall into play.

Mr Y: Mr President is not serious at all. He says he would not benefit from the bill. He should resign if he really cares for the 2015 president and governors rather than mind his own business. What a jobless president when President Obama is appealing to the Republicans and Democrats to agree to raise the debt limit in order to lower the budget deficit.

Mr X: By the end of his tenure, our Naija President may want to contest after saying he wouldn't. A Wada Nas may emerge from nowhere and reveal the president’s new manifesto to the public, wait and see. They think Nigeria is a zoo but we are not all nincompoops!

Mr Y: The president is simply asking for trouble like Fela Anikulapo Kuti’ song Trouble Sleep Yanga Wake Am.

Mr X: During the Obasanjo era, they tried tenure elongation in form of "third term" and failed with bribe et al. If the president doesn't leave in 2015 as promised, some countries would back the masses against him. Didn’t the president see how the masses forced former presidents of Tunisia and Egypt to step down this year?

Mr Y: What Mr President is trying to practice is dictatorship. According to the press, politicians from different parties are involved in the scam to impose such a crude and selfish alternative on us. It is not only the PDP. ANPP, APGA and PPA are also involved.

Mr X: It is shocking!