Queen Nothando Dube aka Inkhosikati LaDube and King Mswati III of Swaziland
Mr: I don’t think it was fair to throw the Justice Minister Ndumiso Mamba into prison for sharing a bed with the 12th Queen. After all, body no bi firewood. The King could not satisfy 14 wives anyway?
Mrs: You? If it were you, you would have ordered Mamba’s execution immediately; head chopped off with hands and feet a la Charles Taylor of Liberia.
Mr: Mamba could face execution but he looks like a stud of the older generation.
Mrs: Oh gush! So nothing happens to 'the former teen beauty contestant' apart from house arrest or would she eventually lose her royal title?.
Mr: Do you know the kind of beating she may have received already?
Mrs: It is a lesson to all polygamists.
Mr: In what way?
Mrs: A polygamist should be tolerant and not play God.
Mr: Oh! So, a polygamist should be a fool… It is the king's culture to marry several wives.
Mrs: She is just 22 and may need more affection from a man. Someone to talk to. They could be innocent. How are we sure they are not? An online commentator says the queen should have 12 husbands. I've never met a polyandrist.
Mr: So you are supporting her, abi?
Mrs: How could a man cope with 14 wives in this day and age? In a year, how many days would he really spend in each wives’ bed. A frustrated wife was bound to cheat. Cheating was not always for sex but for comfort and attention.
I once had a platonic friend who was dating a millionaire’s wife and I used to warn him that if ever he got caught he shouldn’t call me for help. The young woman was bored stiff since the millionaire abandoned her for months e.g. eight months at a stretch. He touched her once a year!
Mr: Maybe it was a birth control method. Ha ha ha…
Mrs: Ha ha ha! My friend used to get girls to phone her in her matrimonial home and book dates where he would turn up for a saucy affair. He used to brag about it. I have not heard of him for years.
Mr: Na him sabi o! May be he has gone to the great beyond…
Mrs: I also had another senior friend that said he used to spend the night with his wife every three months.
Mr: So he is a quarterly husband.
Mrs: Yes!
Mr: That kind of woman would have a toy boy somewhere.
Mrs: He bragged that if she complains he would send her back to a village near Awka. African men! She probably has a lover boy hidden somewhere. Mr lover boy (like ol’ skool DJ Shabba Ranks' Mr Loverman) is the 'real' husband. He doesn’t know that it could be the real reason why she does not complain. It is a marriage of convenience. They don’t love each other and have no real reason to be jealous as long as nobody is caught red handed.
Mr: Did you know that my friend, Adio’s 6th wife is now jumping from one bus to another?
Mrs: Why?
Mr: My friend suspected she was having an affair and the venue was her mum’s house. He diplomatically refused to fix her car and two wheels are without tyres, currently balanced with ‘iya odo’ (mortars).
Mrs: Ha ha ha … The woman is strikingly beautiful so why won’t men chase her? Why did he not marry ugly wives? Did I hear you say No 6? So that means she gets about eight weeks of sex per year. Men!
Who knows if King Mswati starved his No 12 too?
Mr: But she is a mother of two kids.
Mrs: And so what! Never trust your friend with your wife.
Mr: Never trust your wife with your friend either.
Mrs: My security expert friend used to bug his house and wife’s car. She was 100% faithful but he was a reckless womanizer. I used to pity her because he was not worth it.
Mr: Which friend of yours? Who?
Mrs: I can't hear you. The kids are crying…
Mr: Answer my question, jo!
Red mist for polygamist Swazi king as wife No 12 'caught in bed with his justice minister friend'
